#13 Tai Chi Wednesday Pic

Check Yourself: Be a Good Partner

One of the concepts that I consistently promote when doing any type of partner work is the idea of giving only what you are willing to receive.  This is something that I have come to find people easily place directly on the physical attributes of partner work.  And that’s a good thing, don’t get me wrong.  Understanding how much to give in the physical realm is of the utmost importance when doing partner work in Tai Chi Chuan, or any martial art for that matter.  Knowing the level at which one should drill, practice and play is extremely beneficial in the development of proper and appropriate skill.  The root of my message when telling people to only give what they are willing to receive is: listen to your partner, understand yourself, and how you and your actions effect the environment of which you are a part.   A more specific account of the message of this article is: be mad at yourself not your partner if your partner doesn’t want to work with you.  So often partner work is unproductive because one or more persons in the partnership either have no interest or lose interest in actually listening to what the other(s) want to gain from the relationship/partnership. 

Now before I get into two of the most common reasons for a of lack of caring for being with/working with a partner, I want to bring up a common fault that seems to be something that drives partnerships into deeper negative holes than it actually helps.  What people are commonly told is that when they have a problem with a partnership/relationship is that they and their partner are not communicating.  I believe that to always be a false statement.  What and how it should be stated if one wants to focus on the word communication is they the problems that have are bred from what is being communicated.   We as conscious being are always communicating and receiving communiqué.  Communication is to convey information, the problems we commonly face in relationships/partnerships happen because there is a lack of understanding, not because communication isn’t happening.  I have come to find that once people start working on gaining better understanding of what others want and of what they actually want; communication between parties becomes less strained.  So point, stop working on communicating for the sake of communication possibly not happening.  Communication is always happening.  Start working on the messages we convey.  Start understanding that communication is made of many pieces: messages and messaging, sender, receiver, situation, context, relevance and understanding.

So, back to it; two of the most common reasons for a lack of caring are that one party is ignorant and/or the other party feels ignored.  In Tai Chi Chuan partner work there are many fun martial applications that can be learned.  A large reason for partner work is to gain an understanding of the concepts that had been previously thought.  One of those concepts is gaining awareness of and being able to control one’s environment in a positive manor.  The concept of environmental awareness contain the models of you aid in creating the environment, and the sum of your past acts dictate the present and future of your environment.  When looking at and/or through a strained relationship, first look at and/or through yourself.  Have you actually been listening to your partner and doing what they want to do and not just what you want to do?  Have you spoken up and stated to the other parties that you believe you have not been given equal part and play, and have specific examples of why you believe it so?  Do you put as much effort into the partnership/relationship as you expect from the others of which you are a part?  Do you hold yourself to the same standards you hold the rest of your team?  Do you often ask others for their thoughts and fact-based opinions and change yourself and ways accordingly?  Are you as fervent in bringing practical solutions as you are at bringing up problems?   These are all question you need to ask of yourself, note the answers and properly adjust to what you want.  Maybe you really don’t care about the other(s) so understanding them honestly does not matter to you, in which case you need to understand what type of environment you are creating.  Maybe you actually do care about what is going on; however, you keep a closed mouth and never voice your feelings or opinions on matters properly and appropriately.  Maybe you think you don’t care; however, you really do.  Maybe you think you do care because it is what you have been educated to think is proper and right; what you should think, feel and do, however the actual fact is that you don’t care and you want out because the partnership is a waste of your time.  Our actual wants don’t always line up with what we are taught we need.  You need to know why you are compelled to stay in a situation and if you really want to be in that situation; and then act accordingly.

So, moral of the story: Be the partner you want to work with and partner with those that show they want to be a positive and productive partner with and for you.

For more information Winston’s his martial arts academy please visit Internal Magnification.  

Winston Price, Executive Producer, has over a decade and a half of marketing, advertising and public relations experience. He began his business career in 1995 and is a graduate of Indiana University Bloomington. Winston also is a master martial artist and personal trainer with over 2 decades of knowledge and experience. Winston runs his own school, Internal Magnification Martial Arts, where he focuses on helping people reach their personal goals of health and fitness via At-Home personal training with martial foci of Taekwondo, Tai Chi Ch’uan, Hapkido and Ba Gua Zhang. As an executive producer for VoiceAmerica, Winston utilizes his skills in business and personal training to help new and existing hosts maximize their opportunity with the VoiceAmerica Talk Radio Network by supporting his hosts with the business and personal aspects of creating and developing their show. Winston believes that each host brings their own flavor to the Network. By properly coaching and motivating his hosts, they are able to produce THEIR show with THEIR style and THEIR passion being at the forefront of every broadcast.