asya 1st day of school

Isn’t it funny how the people we surround ourselves with can affect how we feel, how we act, how we see ourselves and the world around us?  I believe we are often a product of our environment and it’s inevitable that the people we keep closest to us will influence us to a degree.  So, don’t you agree that it’s crucial to choose the people in our lives very carefully?  I know that we often don’t have a choice about who is in our lives. We usually don’t get to pick our teachers, we don’t have control over who will be in our class and if you work, you might have to work with someone you don’t like.  And sometimes, the most negative, or what I like to call toxic, people in our lives just might be the very people we live with.  It can be difficult to stay positive and lifted up when someone is impacting you so negatively.  

Eleanor Roosevelt has a quote that I have really taken to heart.  She once said, “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.”  And she’s so right!  You can’t control what someone is going to say to you, but you sure can control how you’re going to receive it. So, let me repeat that again: “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.”  No one.

I’ve had my share of negative people and, unfortunately, some have been my family.  It used to affect me, but as I have been moving forward, and growing and getting stronger mentally, I’ve learned that if you let this take hold of you it hinders you from branching out and reaching your goals.

When I first started my t-shirt company, my parents and brothers supported me 100%, all the way, and they still do. The majority of my friends were also supportive, but there were some people who I thought were my friends who had negative comments and tried to make themselves feel or look better by saying hurtful things about me.   I had to realize that there are always going to be people like that in life. The key is learning how to deal with it. If someone were to bring you down, it’s usually because they want what they can’t have. Jealousy is a negative energy sucker and is not healthy.  It’s not healthy for the person who feels jealous and it’s not healthy for the people who are affected by it.  The absolute best way to deal with it is to ALWAYS know your self-worth!  Surround yourself with people who find you valuable and worthy so when you feel a bit defeated and forget your own value, they’re there to remind you.  When you know your value, you can achieve much. Keep family and true friend around you to combat toxic people.

It’s not easy dealing with jealous or toxic people.  People who are angry with you because of success or good grades or making better choices, often they are feeling that way because they don’t feel valuable themselves.  A way to help yourself not react to them in an equally negative way is to try and see them as who they are: Real people with real problems and real feelings.  They are worthy of love and affection but they don’t believe it for themselves or have had such a negative, bad experience in their lives that they become hardened and lash out.  A way to reach them just might be to restrain yourself from lashing back and showing them care and concern.  BUT at the same time, you want to be careful that you’re not trying so hard that you hang out with them so much that you lose sight of yourself and your goals.  You don’t want to change into their patterns.  I remember once my mom giving us a lesson on toxic people.  She said that it’s very easy for good kids to fall in with the wrong crowd.  She had us stand up on a chair, one at a time.  When I was up on the chair, she said, “Try and pull me up” I grabbed her hand and yanked up with all of my might and nothing happened,” She said, “Now, try and stay on your chair” and then she tugged on my arm and I was pulled off the chair.  She said, “See how hard it was to pull me up but how easy it was for me to pull you down?  That’s how it is in life.  Choose your friends wisely.  It’s very difficult to pull a toxic person up out of their toxic lifestyle, but it is VERY easy for a toxic person to suck you in through gossip, bad choices, peer pressure and pull you down to their level.  Choose wisely.”  I will never forget that analogy.

So yes, there will always be people in your walk of life who will be toxic and try and bring you down, but you have a choice to surround yourself with positive, goal oriented people who want to see you lifted up.  You make the choice to positively impact those around you as well.  Remember the quote I mentioned earlier about no one being able to make you feel inferior (or lousy) without your consent?  I have another great quote from the same great former first lady, Eleanor Roosevelt:  “Great minds discuss ideas; average minds discuss events; small minds discuss people.”  Choose the mind that YOU want to have and then choose the people you want to positively impact your life. Read the official article at Be The Star You Are.