image (8)

It’s Absolutely All About You
I recall a few years back being at a park where one of my children was playing baseball. I remember vividly a mother screaming to her son, that was seven years old at the time, when she stared him in the eyes as she shouted you must stop acting that way and stop thinking its all about you. The child with a blank stare in his eyes appeared lost and didn’t understand what the mother meant at that particular moment when he was made that statement. It was evident that the child felt his life and his world was tumbling over him. The feeling of despair and loss while that child was going up to bat during his little league baseball game, surrounded by peers, who wanted nothing more but for him to be at his best, left him deflated and emotionally drained. As he picked up his bat to go hit the ball, as everyone was staring in silence, waiting for him to hit another home run, his loss of direction took over and he struck out. It was evident at that moment, as he needed words of encouragement from his mom or his dad which was one of the coaches, he felt that no matter what he would do, it was never going to be good enough. He pretty much gave in and gave up to his mothers words that it wasn’t about him and he set himself up to fail not only during the game, but he gave up on his team mates and ultimately gave up on his ability to be the best he could be. Today that child is now a young adult, as I have spent years observing the outcome of those very harsh words that came out of his mothers mouth. That child has not been able to come out of low achievement or unsatisfied goals throughout his high school career. As I witnessed this interaction, it changed my life, not only as a mother, but as a therapist who works with young adults on a day to day basis. I realized the impact that words could have on a person and just as a parent could promote greatness in their own child, they could instill a lack of self-esteem and ultimately lead their child to failure. It is with this background that I chose to write this book to implement not only to parents but to coaches and teachers, that the words we use must be handpicked and always to realize how those words can be perceived, internalized, and acted upon, by the child on the receiving end. The title “It’s Absolutely All About You”, has been deliberately chosen. As an empowerment therapist, I commenced implementing its all about you in my practice with clients, not only children but adults as well. Helping the person realize the self-love and admiration they must have for themselves is the true meaning of success. The knowing that they have every potential to be the best that they can be, has allowed the people I come in touch with on a personal and professional level, come to the realization that perfection exists within them.  If the same child who was told that it was never about him could have been encouraged that it was absolutely all about him, he could have gone up to bat in his little league team and connected his thoughts and feelings about playing his best and created the homerun experience his teammates were expecting. Telling him he wasn’t good enough by thinking high of himself as a little league baseball player not only took away his passion and drive for the game, he gave up on his athletic abilities and his level of competing to the point he never held a bat again in his life. The responsibility of a teacher or a coach in a child’s life is taken way too lightly when these are the adults that our society places so much emphasis on leading children to strive for excellence and perfection at anything that they want. The fact that some parents or coaches don’t even believe in their own self and the perfection that lies within them, already makes them a failure in the life of a child whose looking to an adult to guide them to being the greatest they can be. It is with great pleasure that this book will talk about so many areas that will enlighten and enable those who will read the words written in those following chapters. It is also necessary that an open mind and an open heart be available while indulging in the writing that are forthcoming because only with an open mind and open heart could we put down our guard and accept the responsibility of letting go of who we used to be to become the person filled with greatness that we are about to become. When parents and teachers say to us, “It’s Not About You”, then who is it about? They are wrong!!!!! It’s always absolutely all about you!!! The only person you can control or be in charge of is you. That’s great to know because there is no sense in complicating matters. Thinking it’s all about you makes life easy but a lot of responsibility comes with it. It empowers us to take charge which means when it’s good, it’s GREAT, but when it’s not, it’s Tragic. The good news is that it is all just a perception. All of it is necessary to get the learning and to reach being better than you use to be.

Tune in every Friday at 2pm PST to It’s Absolutely All About You